Some people can’t give that. Circumstances don’t allow. Some don’t agree with me. And that baffles me, because I am one of those annoying people who believes so fervently it’s hard for me to see WHY my opinions aren’t held by the word in general. It’s a flaw in me but I forgive myself a little as secretly (she blogs) I would prefer to be a passionate person full of conviction and enthusiasm than…well to not be. But that’s okay. All of it. But here, where I start again; where my topics change as has my entire life, post-child(!) I’ll address a few.
“He’ll be behind” Really? Behind what? He’s a smart kid with one-on-one learning and attention. He’s now learning how to learn and learning the things that interest him and my goal is to show him how to love learning. Watch and see.
“He won’t be socialised” We don’t exist in a vacuum. He meets people. Lots of people. Just a few days ago he informs me he needs someone other than me to talk to. And off he trots to introduce himself first to two slightly bigger boys and then when they are eventually dragged away for food and home, to the cricket club groundsman. I don’t know what they discussed but he was there awhile sat on the grass in the sunshine beside the thoroughly charmed gentleman; gesticulating wildly and occasionally running back for some toy or item that had to be shown.
“He won’t learn to just sit and study” He’s three. He’ll study what fascinates him. He spent hours with a beetle. Longer testing what dragged a balloon down and what it would make fly. And really? How many of us learn best sat in a group being talked at?? And I don’t dislike any teacher enough to wish them the task of making my boy sit quietly – an undertaking that can only succeed in making all concerned miserable.
“He won’t grow confidence by facing bullies to toughen him/be too dependent on Mummy” Um. Kids need their mums. Time to worry is when I’m cutting up his food and tying his shoelaces at 30. Him being 30, not me. Confidence comes in security and in having a ‘place’ and or a skill. Not in being bullied. Take it from me, being bullied doesn’t make you tough. Boys, studies show, who are clingy to mummy in the early stages become the most confident of men. Maybe because they have that security as a base? And if you think my boy lacks confidence well maybe I should introduce you sometime!
So, right now? I’m not stressing about what career he’ll have (something he’ll pursue from his interests) what college he’ll want or what grades he’ll get. I’m not losing sleep that he can’t read as early as I did (he’s already better at geometry than me) and I’m not chewing my nails that he’ll grow up anti social because he’s not in a room with 30 other kids all day. I’m enjoying having him around me. Would I sometimes give all I own for a few minutes of me time? A few minutes to write or read or sleep, yes I would. But for this fleeting time, I’ll give it all up to be the one to watch him grow and experience and love his life. Why would I want to give that up to someone else? For now I’ll let him play and follow his dreams and whims. I’m going to hold his hand for now while I’m still allowed and let him show me the way. Let’s see where he goes….